Where is the movie hustle playing
The Hustle (2008) | Full Movie | Charlie Murphy, Al Shearer, Brigitte Nielsen, David Alan Grier
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hey y'all it's me
Reverend page you know Kwanzaa is just
around the corner and guess what I'm
about to drop my new CD it's called hey
man it's me Jesus let me kick you down a
little something from a single hey man
it's me
Jesus hey man it's me G the hangman is
me G the open up open up let me in
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see Megan ain't nobody here but the
roaches road stop guys you're here for
the trash trash man you better show your
wings wait for Roach stompers hit a
stump out some road just answer me dance
that was a one-time problem I will call
right now I'll cancel the monthly we
drove a long distance to get out you
better know something all right
and we're gonna kill some bug juice okay
wash horseflies okay
upstairs to your right you've got all
the bedrooms to your left the formal
dining room come here come come come
come and hear my living room
listen lady you ain't in there see y'all
homes
yeah it's always something different
like right now we're looking for the G
rollers T Roach was this approach this a
real G like Tupac and 50 yeah you can
shoot him with spray nine times and it
just won't die he'd do anything you can
smell it too
lady it's not a game the freshman junior
staying humble check upstairs
yes sir straight ahead to your left
officers you've got 20 minutes
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so the Lord is the answer no my brother
this is the answer join me Reverend page
every Sunday of my house of worship five
services started 6 a.m. dude no it's not
that's gross dude I'm telling you that
is dust okay yeah come on dad I found
the mother lode man Oh big old
paddleboats do it no it's not man this
is probably way to confirm yet the large
me how much it is dude
it's not you don't believe me no I don't
I don't know it's dust smell it you
smell it how dare you come in Deva messy
Bessy food fair and fancy talk doodoo on
Flo
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you
yeah we gotta go my damn face off we
gotta go look behind the couch that's
where all whoops wrong to win over
vacation in pants yeah what's up now
[ __ ] what's up oh look at me while I'm
doing it go let's go Oh what we mean
what I'm doing I do know what you don't
know what I do that just stole something
what you ain't still no which talked
minds do know so yeah I know you stole
something because I'm a kleptomaniac
just like you and just like you I was at
the meeting last night seeing you raise
your hand up
yes I'm afraid of the cap Dominion I'm
ashamed what I do
are you done - the King are you done now
that's probably yourself ready go maniac
projected with the big-ass titties
tonight
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this won't stop look at this man we look
ridiculous
this is embarrassed you get into the
head I got into the money wait 30 years
old 30 you see how to do wrong when he
returned what do they give first of all
you step tripping about huh
bro stop this thing that's that job
cause roof stompers we gonna eat as far
as the fake gold rose watches conceal
that watch was flat broke live off me
but we right I was trippin I was trippin
cuz I'm about to quit just now do you
know what you just reeled me back in hey
you deep get your ass out the truck
right
you got the same black even therefore
don't
oh damn man we're getting a ticket on
the roast truck I told at the park there
man cut cut cut cut comedy can't see all
this oh okay today you're gonna dig deep
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rich white woman
don't worry about what I got there from
give me $300 for it now that your friend
is gone
oh you bisexual oh that ain't necessary
if you can read the sign says no parking
Monday through Friday 8 to 6 9 to 12 Q
before midnight before Saturday's your
school go on put it on now I'm just
gonna tear them Tara
turn up there which badass like I said
each time for me hey crowd I'm sandwich
man this is my block only one you're
kind of trouble around here so why don't
you take it to the hood all right so why
don't you bite my bun mmm
you don't want no beef with me like a
board shake stress like a burger than
you do as a ropes
now Rob getting this little Asquith back
nap back hook today hey nobody broke no
battles baby professionals
what sauce I'd go back to Ebola
that's about that daijoubu ship here no
moto moto Nausicaa Satya hi
no more bugs please
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stop what's up my stop right
I got some family in the boot ain't
claimed no damn boot a hoot ain't
cleaning then the [ __ ] we do y'all like
the Four Tops i'ma call you out afford
chop okay
don't you worry about okay go ahead and
sign it right here one two and the three
go ahead you're not gonna sign we gonna
send the bill out to your house let me
worry about that what's going going here
about your stuff up
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right now smell like I got any money
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dude it's not the bed
don't you even stop the Batman come on
it was an accident man I'm your best
friend you junior something better gonna
kill me junior its best friends are your
best junior way my fault juniors always
your full tree they gonna kill me they
go cure you dude you do that me junior
something minute okay we're doing you
well I gotta worry about you know
waiting a tuxedo way guess you're next
will it work yeah get your ass in the
truck wait the money lost the money
which means that we and all this truck
followed it captive dumb moving on my
job dude you never hang out with you hey
Ted catch me I'm the gingerbread man
this healing time man infected with
devil sadness evil raishin in his head
hey mama me boy where you been and
where's your shoe I hope you ain't still
selling them fake George don't you get
too comfortable now I need you to go on
back there and check on Zoe she been
waiting on you all day I ready if you
don't get your ass out of here anybody
know you nobody call you if you don't go
I'm coming to help you get there now
that's crazy
yes he all right now you keep up with
the good work okay
you don't cast to bring you a special
report
listen [ __ ] just get my money I said
Ron we interrupt the Reverend paid
gospel hour with a breaking story money
reigned over downtown streets today as
lucky passers-by snatched
today sweetheart why you live so a [ __ ]
you alright well you know my man be
really thinking a lot of work lately you
know you should never let your lips get
that Ashley honey you can get sick like
that I'll get you some Vaseline for your
lips but you're too pale reckless get my
piano yet how am I supposed to be Alicia
Keys if I can't practice you have a
keyboard look at it did you ever see
Stevie Wonder complain about his
keyboard he's blind I'm working on I'm
gonna make it happen okay
right now you get some sleep as late you
got school tomorrow okay
daddy you bisexual Emma what are you
bisexual look bisexual know who talk
about sexual miss Clara did bisexual I
pay all that money to get them to teach
you something and she told you about
bisexual am i you didn't know about
sexual is then who is I'll tease
bisexual awful Junior's bisexual you
need to get paid in play I knew there
was something fishy about him it's a
little bisexual boy waiting just bust
out of him just ah okay but it's the
secret between me and you okay I'm off
the books pay you promise pinky promise
okay it's a brown sugar okay 9 mild
that's not miles this is miles this is
Miss miles missed you guys
I brought you in this world take you out
do you hear me Freddie
you gotta do better than what you're
doing Freddie you lost the bingo again
shut up and listen to me you got a
little girl then it loves you very much
Freddie and yes she's my granddaughter
and I don't mind taking care of her but
Zoe is your responsibility Freddie not
mine I'm trying you're a smart man
Freddie I know that because I raised you
that way do you hear me and now it's
time for you to make a life for you and
Zoe because I'm not gonna be around here
forever friendly talk like that but
listen I am serious Freddie do you hear
what I'm saying
serious I'm you impress this boy no baby
now listen what you need to do is put
God first and then get your life
together
do you hear me found some bikini drawers
in your dress-up or with Dookie stains
all they're like you've been flossing
your bond with them you know what you
know men don't wear drawers like that
and I'm not gonna be washing no drawers
of yours there's got if you are into
something and I found out about it
Freddie you know I will hurt you I will
hurt you because we don't do that kind
of stuff in this house because I know I
raised right a black man with the road
outfit ball and can you tell me what
happened here well you see he was some
kind of a bug man superhero
chief oh okay and you just caught a
bunch of money out of the sky like
somebody had a good day okay where did
this money actually come from a big-ass
roach just ran through here and then the
money came flying out of the room
no I don't know maybe it was the pimp
God all this money back your newfound
fortune are you gonna spend it are you
gonna keep it you're gonna save it
folder like this not included in my
pocket blessing from the same guy
police remain tight-lipped about today's
enticed but they are telling the public
to be on the lookout for this man thank
you
call your local police department in the
worry about an don't sell me x-man no
you ain't gonna hear like that you need
to get paid in prayer I'm talking to you
mister man is the devil your agent is
Satan no manager is the appabob you liar
I'm talking to you
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Jim he'll oh you must be the man they
sent as replacements Oh
exterminate
we got a huge bug problem we got roaches
crawling all through the aisles like
walking up on the poop trying to sing
what the cry even jumping into the
baptismal like it was a swimming pool in
holiday here scratches Christmas how
long will it take you to get rid of here
half an hour 30 minutes tops tops you
get some cough syrup okay
thank you son i'ma start we're gonna
leave you a podium
that's not a good ones under the poles
dreams that big I would well you know
they got is a Holy Ghost they got the
holy ropes man you see this wrong man
look at this man that's nice so one of
those real sequence try to stay home I
had on real sequence before she's all
over we gonna have to really you're
thorough over here man I wanna get
started with it show me what you got
demos okay
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okay not for the mayonnaise use the gel
you do it man went to the Waffle House
to the sky
please yourself any more sip what'd you
guys do to him anyway nothing sort of
confident I mean it was just like yeah
you know what are you even certified to
do CPR I just hope they didn't crack a
sternum yeah
just bone hey we got a roll anyway it's
not like he's dead right Big Mac you
bring a bed I don't believe we've
officially met brother Ephraim I'm
associate pastor here associate yeah you
know pastor hacker retires I'm next in
line and I'm the brothers gonna take
over this church so why are they call
for replacement ministers oh you know
sometimes the church can be a
complicated place your brother's just
getting the town yeah now must have been
a long trip from New York New York we
come from New York I'm just messing with
you look we'll figure all this out
tomorrow okay
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father
they say if he's gonna be alright
is he gonna be alright it's no wonder
all troubles and all this infighting and
and the bills what's really happening
would you guys do to him ministers of
God huh huh
can I have a word with you the boys no
around here uh yeah just got the town
today have I seen you guys before do you
never see me no they're our replacement
ministers that's right I heard you two
ministers saved Reverend hackers life
he's still got his DNA in his mouth
right in there I gave him mouth-to-mouth
all right welcome to the neighborhood
have you talked me you later
call me you see that good has got one
question
well your lips first pressed with
another man's lips now I won't talk
about what's the van in the van was
right here
man well how you lose the van ain't news
the band the band was that here somebody
must have stole it man was right here
let's find that singer later you got in
trouble with us who was a clause and
dokdo guess what you're fired
pilots no more doing work for Road
supper no more Alabama we work hard for
you for three years maybe you work hard
for Ali Baba you sit on your ass you
make up study you lie you're black thing
you didn't remember sir but it'd be loud
about them any line you need that you
know Ali Baba from backpack Baba see
your auntie you Ali Baba
[ __ ] me the Ali Baba won't you go eat
your nice big camel [ __ ] sin will you
get with mayo terrace it's NEX to me yes
I'm sorry I'm sorry
give me a break savvy - okay we family
we found me
[Applause]
oh right now do you see things to do
yeah 5 min Ju the found it found it what
I could assign on a heat oh wait here
welcome to karate world hey I am hun mr.
Shima hollows first daughter
we're being expecting my name's Julia
Mama's person that means mr. Poli mr.
jr. do I look like I am nothing there's
no time for joke
my father's wiki anybody take me clothes
off okay
trip me and when Tina
look you girls know me to boot coupe you
don't want to mess with this come with
me hey what's up with the rose yeah oh
man that's bikini breeds me why y'all
doing stuff you back you you two black
birds are flying nests you've
disappointed us what do you know why
you're here
no no are you idiot see I told you would
have looked
the hell is that it's a fire this must
mean earliness [ __ ] I have seen
in my life hold on a minute rose what's
this all about - I don't know hey what
can i hey man it's a real nice place man
you hook this place overturn nests
produces many cracked eggs but the
squirrel the dandelion do you know a
group of hairstylist it is better to be
a chicken's head than an axes Rome what
the bumblebee swims at night a lot of
money this what we even faced with
danger he continues to live in the
Japanese culture huh
you steal from one store you steal from
all my stores we have you on the camera
camera my idea new generation you owe me
10,000 big one 10,000 big I'll come home
it was note it down Oh
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your money
I ain't think about it you know y'all
got small eyes you have a seven days to
return my money
seven and we do the final blow if not
two black birds fall from sky hit the
rock and don't forget we know where you
[Laughter]
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I'm on probation my fault and they gave
me got both of us man
you and me and we do both got the money
and kept the money both of us would've
spent the money $10,000 you ain't got
$10,000 ain't we in trouble it's your
fault no dessert right now but $10,000
ass whip people kill us me go me get out
my face
you you really mad at me man I am really
mad if I was no probation hey trust me
they'd be pulling me off you right now
so get the step you feeling focus to you
then leap to step up do it yes somebody
else dude I'll be waiting you didn't
even take the smack this blackness
losing the dojo and gently was smacking
your ass room six you didn't say it damn
danger you you ain't say now do you
[ __ ] just beauty blogger you did say no
amen time out time out
you got what they call the short memory
you can't beat me
that's it my god you're going back to
church maybe the choice it's always
preachers the most they're crazy man win
that preaches tomorrow it's gonna be 200
people in the church waiting to hear us
priests
waiting to give us damn money man
churches the world's greatest hustle if
that boom get my mom to see them fifty
dogs every month we can kind of church
one come on don't urges make thousands
dollars every Sunday hey sue yeah I got
a suit you're playing better work there
work man better work
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hi pastor good morning sister morning is
that your problem soon aren't you
talking about this a throwback it's
tight because it's couture did he get
the same Jack look I want to apologize
for yesterday we weren't properly
introduced I'm Niki Stevens past the Don
Cornelius but people call me Frank Don
Cornelius like the Soul Train dude or
Freddie I came a little bit early to
show you around in the mornings I
usually unlock and the offices and
today's 37 you know the one about God's
promised to restore his people like dry
bones coming to life you might want to
throw that in your sermon
Ezekiel yeah the guy who works down at
the car wash charge it to detailing down
on them you don't mean at Ezekiel do you
you told my somebody different yeah the
one in the Bible thank you oh you mean
Zeki oh it's pronounced Zeki Oh cuz the
ears has an accent over an easy kill are
you really a minister ordained I went to
school down in Mississippi
great Baptist University of Moses I've
never heard of that one it's real small
oh I see
brother Ephraim have you met pastor
Cornelius good morning brother
good morning Cornelius yeah you look
like you wouldn't know the latest dance
steps we met yesterday with the pastor
Hackman and the deacon where is he
Oh Oh Deacon Jones yeah he's for a
little bit late this morning he was up
on my lawn praying you know God is like
a crack house always open
[Applause]
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several Ligia said wear a suit bag this
is sue puny just give me a second I
gotta go meet with my disciples I don't
know you look very pretty today Nikki no
I take that back you are looking
beautiful today
Thanks Efram don't be acting like that
when I take over this church remember to
be blessed one must first be a blessing
what do you mean B this is flat okay me
I'm looking like a black dawn just good
prom with it
that's exactly right Junior and Miami
buddy's been off the air for 25 years I
ain't come here for that
okay go out and preach get that money
we're gonna go back pay these people and
go home okay that's it that's the plan
oh yeah we gonna be rolling in it
rolling
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no fool is the replacement ministers
swear kill you
I said can I get an amen pants is way
too tiny Church fool nut would love
loves just broken all around the imprint
his balls my baby I think that was for
me to say I don't think you're supposed
to be looking at balls like Turkey you
knew yeah now turn to do the same thing
to the other knee now I want everybody
in the church to see vegans don't suit
is the defecation looks like a
temptation soon the deputation hmm well
without further ado I'm bringing on
brother
[Applause]
praise the Lord Churchill this week is a
special week in the church giving that
next week is Easter Sunday and you can
purchase lilies for the altar through
our beautiful decorating committee and a
prayer group for Pastor hacker will be
meeting after the service now I was all
set to give the word today I said I was
all set to keep the word today I'm come
on Nathan sit on down and bring a new
ministers out who wants to hear the word
today
somebody anybody everybody wanna hear
the word today
stop stop on Upstate okay if that's how
you feel it is my pleasure to introduce
pastor dawn canoe yes
I need a sandwich for the congregation
you look lovely yes call me Reverend
pastor doctor good God
good God they both got a lot of teeth
gonna fill with the Holy Spirit
can you hear we're gonna talk about
Jesus you shipment
Kobe snatch it Gulf region i'ma talk
about Bobby your witness
bald-headed Britney oh I'm gonna talk
about Barack Obama and your baby's mama
should use the candidate safe what is
this Reverend run DMC preach the world I
like your style you are out there
misbehaving but in this church you'll
find your saving is good cuz God spoke
to me hey dude let me ask you a question
what do you do for the church yeah you
write me oh um well I want to cook for
the church but pastor hacker he said the
congregation is too small and I cook
anything mm-hmm
Fried Chicken candied yams um I can cook
anything you like especially for him I'm
miss Tanya oh and what about you brother
and the files are ready Jackie my name
is Derrick I got some musical abilities
hmm let's face it man this band saj and
no offense guys but I mean you know with
a little reefer we could really drop it
like it's hot in here
can you rabbit for the Reverend I can
rev it can you lean with it can you pop
bop bop with it I can rev it for the red
and what about you jr. Jamie on any
given Sunday can you bring it
googly goo you're gonna make it do what
it do huh evil Jamie it may be time to
take an offering
all right y'all reach for me booth sorry
I don't have any money on maybe nice
deep but don't be cheap I got something
big for the church Church don't put the
money in so thank you that's the
conclusion of our service and I've given
you the Holy Spirit and I was glad you
was here to hear it and I'd like to take
a moment for Pastor hacker I'm over the
silence you're like a tall glass of
water and I'm thirsty you did a
wonderful job up there today and you
wait till next week
Easter a lot of people gonna be here to
hear you preach we're gonna raise
$10,000 in seven days and y'all thinking
he's crazy
we gonna fix the ceiling paint the pew
light [ __ ] Jones now you know so we
will return here tomorrow night each and
every one of you with the five to ten
people
you gonna heal someone that's right
someone know peace
I don't want to join the church I won't
be long names Ben welcome brother Benny
let the church say what's all just
talking about healing somebody man we
can't heal nobody come to the back come
on squandered the [ __ ] Bianca bomb on
fire look this dog went too far I mean
we ought to be thinking about trying to
get out of here
you're talking about coming back
tomorrow man will you just chill out
where's the money we collected today he
gave it all today
Nicky woman about a honeybee that's it
I'm trying to take stupid today was only
the first day and next Sunday
well next Sunday is Easter we gonna be
rolling in the dough baby apparently
there have been several of our VIP
memberships bootleg in nature that were
purchased online
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these are platinum memberships so y'all
six in the front row gonna have to
vacate immediately
okay please don't please don't cause the
place
[Music]
it's healing time okay think about ever
since you put out the building fun
challenge is all the stuff that the
church needs you know like new song
books half the robes or moth-eaten in
the kitchen the refrigerator and the
stove don't worry I'm sorry sister
y'all don't need Jesus y'all need the
gene you're just so different they're
different like how like well I mean
you're funny you know and you loosen
most pastors are uptight stuffy and like
brother eats he flies either bugs I used
to do with bugs back in the day long
story
so everything okay I'll be here
fantastic sensation thank you very much
I'd like to see you on Sunday system
okay so why don't you tell me a little
bit about yourself what did you do
before this where's your family who are
you
I used to be in sales and then my family
moved to ruse and Lee so there's a
missing daughter and daughter she's with
my mama right now and her mother and
please don't tell me she's dead she is
cancer it was a long time ago we're over
and now it's just me my little girl now
so um what's your daughter like my
daughter like any other crazy kid always
hitting me up for stuff like right now
she wants a piano she wants to be Alicia
Keys I told you you can't be Janet Janet
just be popping out I don't want you
popping out to your 35 G's don't like
him out so Alicia Keys is what we ended
up with no it's a shame she's not with
you because we have a piano and I'm sure
she loved it I'm just not sure you guys
would love her playing so uh let's get
back to the list you can have one thing
on the list what would it be one thing
one thing but anything that's hard
oh this okay I got I do so many James
Price I've been doing up for years
so maybe whether or not just give her a
call and let her know what the hell's
going on here who out here has a gun she
ain't gonna call nobody excuse me
you don't even live around here you need
to shut your mouth when grown-ups are
talking
and don't bring it back around here dare
your face no more and you stop fighting
the front of my plate
yawns Anna can I get your hands off me
what's right here fire boy anyway she
thinks I want her boyfriend when he be
the one calling me all the time won't
you honey we're just trying to help you
one of those girls had it done you're
gonna get yourself killed out here
what's it to you little girl you got a
big-ass mouth
who are y'all anyway some kind of police
team or something
she ran you Stimpy who's that you know
we're just regular people from New Birth
Baptist Church people it figures like
you know my [ __ ] right sweetheart
I've been where you're at and back with
my sisters to save your lecture you need
to come to church and take a break from
hanging with these kids maybe I think
well you better think about it fast for
these girls whoop yo ass what you know
lice get a name Lord Jesus forgive me I
wasn't thinking I was just sinking kind
of church people all y'all what's your
name anyway a little bitty none of your
business
New Birth Baptist Church right down the
street I'll see you Sunday I no more
fighting tiny Tyson I'm a little
concerned about your behavior
tiny Tyson and I'm gonna whip your SS
ain't no doubt about a guy with a shovel
what have you lost your mind
some Asian people came here looking for
you this afternoon
why you heard what I said I said some
Asian people came here looking for you
now don't you play no games with me
Freddie
you got some explaining to do mama tell
me what have you gotten yourself into
now huh you remember huh we went to high
school to get a little hard like this
big look I got this video store now
right and I have written some karate
videos they must want to back that's all
this little problem nah but it didn't
look like a little problem to me Freddie
and it happened of all days today Sunday
the Lord's Day Freddie no no you don't
know why listen here Freddie
solve your problems or you get out okay
and don't think I don't know about you
losing your job down there bug Stoppers
his Roach stompers wait a minute
and another thing are you bisexual no
I'm not by section why you saying by
section because miss Clara down there
Joe in school told me that you bisexual
she said you came down there and he's
eating any bidding little shorts short
short shorts all up in your behind
she's a don't know by the way that kind
of stuff but bisexual man now you know
Freddie we don't deal with that kind of
stuff around here you hear me I'm
metrosexual what metrosexual they just
max I can wear mediums yeah look at
kanye west's metrosexual puffy
metrosexual Russell Simmons no I've got
metrosexual here don't play with me boy
ha just say sister I really have no idea
this is a trick to get us here on a
Monday night probably right right you
know baby you need to have a little
faith Mike Church's ever did anything
for me he messing with my halo minis now
you need to hush up why not you teach
the back of your mouth Digga chosen as I
promised we would be here to do a
healing I don't believe you believe me I
said tonight somebody gonna get Heat
[Applause]
the church has the spirit and I can feel
it those are promise it is by Easter
Sunday
you're witnessed three miracles God is
good god damn so with that I need a
volunteer from the audience you back me
yes you broke what's your name hey I'm
sorry speak up I couldn't hear your name
brother Frank come on Jesus what's the
story brother I see
that's incredible he's incredible ladies
and gentlemen this man's name is Frank
now Frank had his vocal cords severed by
an alligator on a vacation to Florida in
2004 worse he walks like this all bent
over because the Gator got a piece of
his tailbone had his leg is messed up
but God is good and he's feeling like
doing it healing over three nights the
night Wednesday and Friday we're gonna
heal this man but tonight he's gonna see
[Music]
you leave Frank how's that break do you
believe you can assist me up Deacon
Jackson if I could have you up here now
hold on to him now grab him in a bear
hug and don't let go
cuz that goes like let go and go
no just not him not him not him
telling guys holding circle because
strike strike strike take out the demon
baby t said how you feeling break feel
like singing I sing because
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
be shorter join Deacon Jones in myself
back here Wednesday night bring your
friends and your family for another
great feeling of spiritual healing
tonight I'll see you then
hi this is brother Ephraim from Bethel
yeah this is the council office right
I'd like to check on two replacement
ministers you sent us connealy Asst yes
like Soul Train and Jones come on I
ain't gonna work again every waste but
you know the dollar said yeah last night
you don't know people love you god bless
you and I came here straight from heaven
above heaven sister then it must be good
yes praise and praise pray you feel my
grandmother used to cook for everybody
and so I love to cook and and do you
love to eat you like breast me I love
Chris smother breasts
it's why the dress all yes like time I'm
looking first did I eat trays below what
we can do is have a Friday or Saturday
night cooking thing and that would
encourage people to come back on Sunday
so what do you need from me I just need
your blessing
well you get that system oh thank you
whoa whoa nipples are you know one more
thing
school program at school yes yes I've
been taking care of it me and other
girls we just need a man help us my son
Dean needs a father I mean a father
figure so they'll be here today at 3:00
day three today and three you can handle
that can't you
very funny
today's topic is any lives out there
everybody lies sometimes do you laugh
huh Deacon Jones and I love being here
too bro
like I see you ready fluence about it
sing them Chris Brown
but you can't sing you can't dance you
can't dress and you don't wear deodorant
there's only two lies that you could
tell and be forgiving for the first one
is it let's say you being chased by
Asian gang let's remember now the Asians
created dynamite and karate which
meaning is that if they chasing you they
gonna miss ya the other situation is if
you what they call a kleptomaniac Lois
forgive them because they can't help
themselves
do you know any kleptomaniac or snacked
I'm a deacon Deacon are you I'm a deacon
what attitude okay God wants you to be
prosperous and endure prosperity kick us
down summer for each $1,000
tax-deductible donation to our
institution you get back five thousand
dollars in prayer
I want to be smooth as a baby's butt you
got me old man
you do an area huh oh you got some good
hair Union in you let me flip it up a
little bit dear boy what tribe you from
the ball hit a trap my teachers been
missing for days yeah I'm just a dumb
video star she's a dog yeah and as we
know you see that beast of yes yes
deikun you've heard of David end of life
oh yes well I'm not gonna try to miss
that one we get you another dog
I'm officer this is officer this is oh
you like a dusty tarantula
hey Trudy to keep your eye open and I
look like it's reaching the Sun we
talked about your way think big is
hidden where Nick that we pose would be
intimidating
we know do you love love love the Lord
because he loved love loved you and he
can change your life like magic Shabbat
and I brought y'all here to get y'all
and shade go soldiers the God's army
okay
[Music]
what a shame
the cajones then did his homework okay
now we're gonna see how good y'all know
ghost he can don't forgot a question
asked but I don't want to get in trouble
it's past two bisexual cuz everybody
keeps saying it did you see something
[Music]
[Applause]
and what they call it might need a hero
when I hear it well weird you're gonna
hear it to help you just looking for the
pastor why here right now he'll be back
soon though you can sit and wait you
don't know what you're doing and get
even black funny yeah I found horrible
let's try this one more time okay guys
one two one two three go in
[Music]
where's Frankie Manny should've been
here by now
it's at least 200 people out there
waiting for the healing people expect in
the show we got to give it to him oh
he's gonna be here okay she's just a
girl they're just bad before now
Frankie make it tonight you can to 22
rehab some where anyway seeing this
change of circumstances I thought to
myself to be healed and you don't need
to be here yeah dude look at my leg so
much healing man you used to do back in
the 60s Thank You Frankie what did you
do me
Benny we all know God loves you I love
you you want to guys Brady's works i
want to call god i'm calling you guys
don't check the caller ID it's just me
trying to help you better
[Applause]
very entertaining show pastor too bad
both of you are fakes
what I know what you're doing you're
bamboozling the people you're leading
them astray you're tying them to
balloons and letting them go I'm
watching you I'm watching both
[Music]
I'm Reverend page please join us in our
annual couples-only counseling cruise
this year we've got a bigger boat and a
better cook to be blessed
remember it's Bethel yes this is brother
Ephraim where we say that again
thank you Roach stompers okay you want
to play we'll play you're doing such a
lot of work around this area for roaches
yeah I appreciate it this dude I've been
telling you about right here
Oh like a row stuffing guru semester she
lost a job and everything it's cool
you know but but you look good man to
suit dress down that's crazy cuz you
know I just I'm so used to you wearing
that bug outfit this dude was so
dedicated he used to sleep in that
uniform
oh hey tell him about the time with them
girl random Amtrak on him oh okay
next stop Oh Roach stop okay we ride a
corner man all right back
yo we got to get out of here man go kill
some more roaches you know about that
right you changed you you really change
you know what let's go like this do is
so Ali well you know you got a suit on
with no job you just got fired
[Music]
I'm a pastor right now I don't know what
all that was about little Amtrak train I
know it doesn't with your little
boyfriend for nothing I did that I know
how things go all right sometimes life
puts us in a situation that we can't get
out of it no but I like you Pastor don't
disappoint me I got my own
when it's notice
I'll see you get a little Steve Harvey
hairline going yeah being is bad baby
a revenues big crowd out there no Easter
no good girl
yeah see you later alright take your a
big Reverend a lot of people too
dependent on you guys I'm doing the
great thing here and thank you for
giving us chance no thank you
it's last the last turn now what you're
talking about is that man believes in
you
hey I mean I believe it's the last time
all right on this series let's go - damn
Siri Siri
that's a nice crowd right there boy he's
sneaky That's not me tell you probably
done with your man what she didn't okay
look it's Tonya know about us you know
about you and she know about me
you know we're not up you know you're
not a deacon you know you used to work
the Roach stompers she know everything
it's not my fault
Junior sharp okay that's first of all
shut up okay
second of all I want you to know
something I like Miss time okay she
liked me things was going really smooth
but that's besides the point we got a
much bigger problem
I must be the problem is this gang after
us they beat us with bamboo sticks
remember now he's $8,000 I did and you
got to get it okay
cuz you said you had to plan and what
did I tell you I was gonna do if the
plan didn't work no no I don't bless you
and they're gonna beat $10,000 ass with
because that was seven days ago now we
got compounded interest that's 10,000
with seven days interest that adds up to
a big ass I don't even know if you got
in the past okay let's get outta here
and get to some other right I'm gonna go
right behind you okay
right after you okay
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Applause]
you think there's a baby mamas idea me I
know I just saw them that's all that we
do mm yeah
brothers and sisters what an amazing
week amazing thanks but I stand before
you humble um see I I messed up this
week just screwed up bad son the babe
never meant to hurt nobody give me but I
got to come clean
you see I ain't a preacher oh she ain't
you baby this whole thing was a hustle
because I know the the karate kids the
money but what I really want to say is
y'all good people and I never set out to
hurt anyone
I did lie but it all sort of just
happened it's see that this money
dropped and then there was this chase
and then we were mistaken for
replacement ministers here at the church
and then I fell in love with this
beautiful woman a woman I could never in
this life hope to deserve
we bug exterminators Bob stop look at
his feet we should have known
[Applause]
you're missing the big picture
think about even though Freddie wasn't
no real minister he was pretty good one
yes all right
hey what about the clothes classic huh
real example if you got a dog
I know that cuz I got knocked out get
that man Tanya you got a whole ministry
[Applause]
and Benny oh yeah a lot of good things
have taken place in this church this
week greatest work that's what y'all
lookin at right now is it diagnosed
kleptomania see but after getting
knocked out cold s getting beat sticks
all about the face neck sad never steal
you that's all because the pastor and
the clothes not just like to see you
y'all should think possibly there wasn't
pastor Freddie jr. been going grabbed
all y'all about 510
I think I have a right to say something
here
[Applause]
this here is my church and young Freddie
has said that he admits to hustling us I
won't have it
I think you to have it all wrong the
both of them I hear what you're saying
junior about good deeds and I agree with
you but what I can't agree with is the
contention that Freddie hustled us you
think you hustle these people well I
think God hustled you until I could be
good you think you did that on your own
that was God's work when God speaks to
you like that directly son you must
listen your way all the way to the
hospital for the last time you're
supposed to be dead oh and you fake Don
Cornelius
so trains dancing pot locking and you
ain't nothing but a wolf and pimps
clothing Oh
make you the future mrs. Ephraim and
lookie here I know you better get all
that this chair for the webinar yep
what I'll give you a front row seat
friend you have raised eight of the ten
thousand dollars you need that correct
that's great well I think congregation
we have to help them out I think we
should make a collection the church is
supposed to help Souls in trouble we
have to help Freddie
because he held this church down now we
got a couple minutes travel music
where's my money
you got it he get I think it's time
[Applause]
move a little faster now get out of my
church
[Applause]
when you have some music
my pleasure rev do you believe this
happen
do they really stood up for us nobody
ever did that for me before we got to
change yes we up steel and that's what
it is yeah and be nice yeah it's like
the black Grinch you need to be nice now
which means black Grinch you don't like
nobody you take everything like the
Grinch don't give it back I'll borrow my
stuff all my stuff makes it is a
pawnshop and somebody else gives it so
really I'm giving it back okay Carly
Rama who that's my part you know and you
don't have real hard time because your
problem is that you're dumb so I don't
see how you can change that I mean he
was born like that I mean I would think
that anybody's dumb is it's not good a
default but God likes me more he likes
you cuz he made me lighter see I like
you going black not by accident
it's God well maybe it's time that you
got
[Music]
out to life join me Reverend page in my
house of worship five services every
Sunday we have a three tiered membership
plan 500 1500 and our gold membership
two thousand dollars to pacify with you
slow down you guys see a girl just as a
cheeseburger come by oh you guys are
only don't meet the crack-tip y'all sold
me Lance people to stuff me I get some
snacks instead of a turnip about ten
days get this stuff out of my body these
coats on transcode forgives you
Oh little dogs allowed in here what's
wrong
down down the street corn a mystery hey
see my little church member with some
gym shoes on in a trench coat what kind
of church church the new church of pet
detectives dough it just corn always
just play easy they're going on what do
we got this some [ __ ] go down yes your
ass I ain't messing with that thing over
there and you want to write the can
write to camber
Europe maybe you need to get saved
[Music]
don't disappoint me
[Laughter]
trying to tell y'all something
[Music]
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[Music]
like just the way I'm feeling now
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