Where is the laugh factory
Tyree Elaine | Ex's Phone | Laugh Factory Stand Up Comedy
big surprise I'm single this [ __ ] is
wack all this stuff love me love me love
me [ __ ] stop
you need a [ __ ] me I need a man I
need help i need help i need assistance
i think the way all of it helped with
everything i need help bringing the
water upstairs all of it I need help
okay for every bill I pay by myself a
piece of me dies it's so unnatural
I'm wasting I'm disappearing this [ __ ]
is not normal so I didn't realize until
me and my man broke up how affectionate
I was like I'm so physically physically
affectionate and I didn't realize that I
like this this is on ways to always be
liking this stupid [ __ ] but I love this
you know how when a dude hold you from
behind and walks like how Mexican
teenagers be at amusement parks like
[Applause]
I hold walk down the aisle and I can
marry like that like a dumbass [ __ ]
okay so before I go let me tell y'all
why me and my man broke up okay so one
night one night man my man was asleep
I was asleep over his house at deep
sleep no [ __ ]
the Lord woke me clean up out of my
sleep and say I check that man's phone
there's a message in there for you from
us and I'm like Lord you owe me a lonely
whatever the funds I go through this
man's personal property like I'm
fearfully and wonderfully made that's
not even in me wait but I want to be
disobedient amina's God here got a nice
day here gonna phone so he's sleep on
his back right so I had to reach over
him to get to the phone he's snoring I'm
cruising he stopped snoring I stopped
moving he snore I'm of he stopped by
stop we're doing this for like 40
minutes all of this is no man is here
I'm shaking his sheep I'm wondering if
he doing this [ __ ] on purpose wondering
if I'm letting God and all it is right
so finally I get my hand on the phone I
didn't realize this we was in a
pitch-black bedroom there's a phones on
a charger like this long so yes so so
I'm bringing the phones to me all kind
of [ __ ] get knocked over all kind of
[ __ ] you know what I've got our lamp
with no lampshade a jar full of pennies
an empty bottle acts all kind of [ __ ]
nightstand noises matter
it was like that [ __ ] was screaming it
was falling to the ground but I didn't
let go of that phone because this was
bigger than me this could have saved us
you know I needed the message
so um still be the next da Vinci Code I
don't [ __ ] know so he looked at me I
looked at him I said what was that
and I turned over and I ran to that
phone and I said I found a message from
him to his ex saying that I am like a
sister to him and the first thing I
thought to myself was thank God I'm
[ __ ] two other [ __ ] myself cuz
that's gonna have the power to destroy
me thank you my name is Cyril
[Applause]
[Music]
