welcome back to the seventh annual Det
white people avoids giving America's
least racist white people the
recognition they deserve
well folks we've finally reached that
moment we've all been waiting for
it's the big one the award for the best
white Person of the Year last year
hundreds and hundreds of white people
demonstrated grace understanding and
their I say courage as they proved
themselves time and time again to be not
racist but tonight there are only five
finalists left and only one will be able
to say that they are the world's best
white person and the nominees for best
white person are Susan for being quote
totally comfortable with her daughter
dating a black guy Logan for being cool
with Michael B Jordan playing the role
of the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four
reboot Heather for posing on Facebook
quote so sad about Ferguson we need to
get rid of racism forever
hashtag racism officer Dustin Bradley
for not shooting any unarmed black men
for the 10th straight year
don't shoot black lives matter and the
fifth and final nominee Bono oh that's a
lot of well deserving white people
Patrick it sure is Jan Tara but only one
person can walk away with the whitey for
the best white person of the year the
whitey goes to
this is the sixth nomination and first
win for heaven she has previously been
nominated for her toots during the
george zimmerman trial voting for Obama
twice and for a continued support for
Beyonce gosh I am so honored to be the
best white person of the year oh my gosh
I'm so nervous
up but not because there's so many black
people here oh I just have to thank my
fellow nominees and oh gosh and of
course I'd make my two black friends who
you like the status the economy this
would work today you guys make it so
easy to be a good white person thank you
guys again so honored so grateful yes
you can see privilege I do with this
award tonight thank you guys so much
thank you I just want to say Bono is the
greatest white person of all time
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