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5 Facts About Your Labia | Madge the Vag | Scary Mommy

- Let's talk about our lips

the ones between our hips.

Twat's up, ladies?

I'm Madge the Vag

and today we're looking back

at the lessons we've learned about our labia.

The little ones and the big ones.

Do you know what a labia majora is?

- Yeah.

- Tell me.

- It's you know,

the, yeah, down there.

- Yes! Yes!

It's your outer lips, or as my child would say

the "peepee doors".

Are those curtains uneven?

I kind of like it.

Do all pink fortresses look alike?

What I'm saying is, can the curtains be uneven?

What's the deal?

- This is the deal, first of all,

kudos for even looking at your girlfriend.

- Looking all the time.

- Love it.

Just like it's not uncommon to have one breast

that is slightly larger than the other,

it's not uncommon to have, you know,

a labia minora or a "small lip", so to speak,

that's slightly longer or, you know,

darker than the other.

It's completely normal.

- You know, what about the shade?

Is there a normal color for it?

Should it be the same color as my skin?

Like the top of my hand, inside of my hand?

- So the color can also vary.

It's usually skin color, but it can be darker.

It can sometimes be lighter, but sometimes

too dark or too light are associated with skin conditions.

- Oh!

- And if it's too dark or too light,

you should go see your gynecologist.

- What if you're getting tan down there and you don't know?

- You should never really tan down there.

- Oh, good to know.

I read as you get older, it might shrink down there.

Am I'm going to be like my old 20 year old self?

- So it will shrink as in it's getting less moisture,

less plumpness to the vagina,

so it's shrinking as in it doesn't really have that

really thick luscious tissue

that you've had from the estrogen exposure.

- Well which pair of lips would tear during child birth?

- Usually when you're delivering, the inner lips tear.

But certainly the outer lips can also tear.

- Do they tear at the top or the bottom?

- They can tear anywhere.

- Anywhere?

- Anywhere. It depends on how the baby's head comes out

and how fast the baby's head comes out

and how controlled it is when the baby's head comes out, so.

- Oh my goodness.

I get some lumps and bumps. What is this all about?

- So you have glands in your vagina

and your labia and on the outside

that get covered up with skin

and then you sweat and then it forms

like a pimple on your vagina.

- Well ladies, it was fun flapping my lips with you today.

Not the ones on my mouth, the ones down south.

I'm Madge the Vag. If you have any questions or comments,

put them in my box, my inbox that is.