Where's The Beach?! 🏖️ Jersey Shore Throwback Clip

- I have a question.

- [Danny] Ask away.

- Do you wanna funnel beer?

- [Danny] It's (beep) thirty,

you were just sick a second ago.

- Do you wanna do anything fun?

- Uh yeah, let's make a sale. I love that.

It totally psyches me up.


- Snooki's drinking is pretty out of control.

From 11:00 in the morning til the wee hours of the night,

and never stopping.

That means you're drunk,

all day and all night long.

(cheerful music)

- [Danny] Nicole?

- Oh, God, what?

Every time I try and steal a beer, Danny catches me.

- [Danny] Nicole, where you going now?

- Ah, I'm going pee!

- [Danny] No, you're not, you're funneling a beer!

- If I want to have a beer, I'm allowed to have a beer.

- [Danny] That's it. You're staying all night.

- This isn't like law school.

This is a T-shirt shop.

Danny, I'll do anything.

I'll (beep) lick the carpet.


- Do you not see that being a problem?

You're ready to lick the carpets.


This is called rock bottom.

Go get a coffee.

(suspenseful music)

- I told Danny that I was going to go get coffee,

but I really went to the bar to take shots.

To smushing tonight!

- [Group] To smushing, yay!

- Oh, I need to pick up pickles.

Oh my God, they're totally gonna see me.


All right, I passed work.

Holy Jesus.

This morning was so bad and now it's like really good.

I got pickles and a Long Island.


- What took so long?

- [Nicole] Oh, I'm getting pickles.

- You left for a couple minutes to get a coffee.

There's no (beep) coffee here.

Come on.

- [Nicole] Stop!

- You're coming right now.

- [Nicole] Oh my God, you're being psycho.

- [Danny] Let's get back to work now, come on.

(upbeat music)

- [Deena] I wanna go on that, can we go on that?

- Me and Deena are extremely hung over from Karma,

so we want to go get a coffee at Bubba's.

We're just really hurting.

- I keep getting camel toe, I feel.

- Is this more?

Yeah, it is.

Right from work, I went to the bar.

You know what's a good time?

Taking a shot off your wife.

- [Woman] Uh oh.

- Old people,

they lose their sex life and that's not a fun time.

That's why people always get divorced.

You lick this, take the shot,

and then take it out of her mouth.

Oh, hell yeah!

You two are totally banging tonight.

I think I should be a sex therapist.

Oh my God!

- I got kicked out of the club last night.


- Nicole is smashed right now.

She's on like a 24 hour binger.


Ugh, ugh.

(crowd cheering)

- After seeing shots with the old couple,

everything kind of just went blank.


- [Man] Easy, easy.

- Oh my vagina's out.


(jazzy music)

- This girl is fricking drunk.

Next thing you know, she is darting.

Where's she going?

I'm like... Snooks?

(upbeat jazzy music)

Where is she?


- [Nicole] I just wanna go on the beach.

Where's the beach?

(upbeat rock music)

- [Deena] Nicole!

- [Nicole] Where the (beep) is the beach?

I'm so annoyed.

Where's the beach?

- It's right there. Where else would it be?

- Oh my God, I wanna go to the beach so bad.

Love you, bye.

Free for all.

Ow! It's hot.


This isn't fun.

- Nicole!

It's too early for this (beep).

My number one main concern right now

is getting Nicole off the beach before she gets in trouble.

I'm gonna save you.

- [Deena] Come on, Nicole.

This isn't a good time.

No, you don't want to go in the water with your-

Give me your purse!

- [Jenni] Can you grab my purse?

(water splashing)

Let's go.

It's always a day at the beach with Nicole.

I don't even know what to do right now. Come on.

There's no controlling that four foot nine girl.

She's like a 3,000 pound man.

She's like a bulldozer.

- [Nicole] Oh dear Jesus.

Oh my God, I'm gonna fall.

- [Deena] She's afraid she's gonna turn around

and run to the beach again.

- [Nicole] No, you're psycho.

- [Jenni] We're getting our bathing suits. We're getting-

- [Deena] Come on, Nicole, really?

- [Nicole] I just wanna have fun.

- Snooki is on the beach, rolling around.

She's falling all over the place.


- [Jenni] Are you ready to go?

- I am so hot.

- [Jenni] I don't need you to get arrested for (beep).

- [Nicole] I just want a (beep) good time!

I will start partying.

(music slowing)

This is a bad situation.

- At this point I'm really worried that Nicole

is gonna get arrested or get in trouble

for acting a fool on the beach.

I don't want to be the bitch, but you have to go.

- [Nicole] No, I won't.

- Yeah, you do.

Come on.

- Get off the beach now. You've had too many chances.

- The police decide to help me pull Nicole off the beach,

and it was a success, but Nicole can't shut her mouth.

- [Nicole] Ew, get the (beep) off my arm.

- [Jenni] You're talking to a police officer like that.

- I'm like, Snook, Snook, shh.

Relax, like it's okay.

Shh, shh. Please!

- Get the (beep) off. Get off.

(handcuffs clicking)

(radio chattering)

- [Deena] Wait, where's she going?

- [Officer] She's drunk and disorderly.

She's causing a scene. You see that.

She'll be placed under arrest. (Deena crying)

Brought back to police headquarters.

She'll be processed and she'll be released on a summons.


- She was being a nuisance, like really?

I didn't even know there was charge for that.

- I'm a (beep) good person. (radio chattering)

(crying) - [Jenni] (beep) I try so hard

to (beep) protect that girl, man.

(guitar chords)

(radio chattering)

- [Jenni] I don't care.

- [Deena] She's so little, like what do we do?

- [Officer] Watch your head, watch your head.

(door shutting)

- [Jenni] I begged her, I begged her.

I even told her, you're going to get arrested.

(siren alarming)

- [Nicole] Not okay and I'm mad!

It wasn't all fun.

- [Jenni] I need to call her dad

before he finds out from someone else.

What is it called, drunk and indecency?


- [Deena] Intoxication in the public?

- Drunken public intoxication?

Hi, is this Snook's dad?

Hi, Mr. Polizzi, it's JWOWW.

(siren alarming)

Nicole just got arrested for public intoxication.